Of all the games to close the home of football it’s typical that it would be Wigan.
The ignominy of it, a load of egg chasers gracing the last game at Highbury.

Although at least it guarantees a victory send off for the famous old ground.
With Wigan relegated not long after Easter they can turn up and get a good beating and one last moment of fame before they go back to the lower leagues where they belong.

We open with a home game against the Geordies. This is never an easy game but we should beat them. Then we have a nice trip to the Bridge and the cheating Chelskis. This is just the type of early season game we want and hopefully we can beat the fuckers.
This season we have a nice November and we might be able to win a couple of games for once.
Home games with Sunderland and Blackburn and away to Wigan, if we were ever to have a good November this is the best chance we will ever have.
However December is looking like one fucking big frozen banana skin for us to slip on.
Chelski at home along with away games to Newcastle, Charlton and Bolton.
We always fuck up against those kickers Bolton who are managed by Fergies fucking best pal, fat moaning cunt Sam Allayarse. If we can pick up take nine points from twelve we will be right in contention.

Frank Arnesen on board Abramovich’s yacht, Chelski have suggested that they are merely friends. Now this is bollocks 100% cheating Russian dodgy money laundering bought title bollocks.
I tried this excuse once and it does not work. The brother in law caught me getting into a cab outside a nightclub with an attractive blonde bird (my misses is a brunette). He stuck his head in the cab and asked, “ Who the Fuck is that?” when I replied that it was just a friend he questioned me
“ What kind of friend plays with your cock in the back of a cab?”
This of course was a good point because six months later I am still sleeping on the couch.
So don’t give me bollocks about Arnesen and Abramovich just socialising they were on that yacht to negotiate Arnesen’s contract or they were shagging each other plain and simple.

There continues to be speculation regarding Pires joining Valencia or Inter for £2-3m.
Pires is a major player for the club. Ok I don’t like his girly reluctance to tackle but he is a guaranteed 15-20 goals a season man and that is fantastic for a midfielder. If you take into consideration the entire Spudz midfield got seven gaols between them I think that puts Bobby’s contribution into perspective; except it doesn’t because Spudz are fucking shit and should be put down like a lame dog. However I would definitely keep Pires on a one-year deal with a one-year option.

I have continued to follow the Fifa World Youth Tournament and clearly the star has been young
Quincy who has dazzled for Holland I would suggest everyone takes a good look at Leo Messi of Barcelona and Argentina who could be a big, big star in the future.

Diego Maradona has joined Boca Juniors as the vice president of the technical department.
I do not know what this role will intake but I presume Maradona will be involved in the youth set up and making transfers. He is looking healthy and a lot better after doctors removed 35st of fat from his belly in a recent operation. That is approximately half the weight of Eamon Holmes or equally the weight of two small elephants.

Timmy ‘grrrrrr’ He-man has lost in Wimbledon, Oh the poor, poor housewives in Surrey what are you going to do. What with Man Utd being taken over and now Timmy losing I feel prescriptions for Valium are going to soar.